cigarette blues

i haven't drank enough water because somewhere in there a whole lot of alcohol found its way in to my system.

so what do i do? i call roman on his birthday, two o'clock here still the day before there.

i want to quit caring about him all together but for some reason i cannot let go of what i wanted five years ago! that's disgustingly sick.

i suppose all i want is for a great man to say, let's move to someplace nice.

guess what? i have a nice guy who said 'lets move to maine' but i don't want to move up there with him....if it was someone else then sure....

i have quite a few guys i'd be willing to move away with...


blah.

i made more sense years ago. i've lost my mind.
i'm no good and that i've always admitted to that.
i am destructive and i haven't denied that either
when i wake up i am sad because i am no longer sleeping
when i go to sleep i am sad because i haven't seen your face
i'm sick of this.
i'm sick of myself.

when am i going to feel better?

these pills don't work (elavin 10mg)
i could be swallowing splinters of wood and have the same 'change' happen.

a work in progress.

thomas, TJ Heston. Charlton Heston's cousin. I spent my first semester at WCU. I took his American History class; this was fall of '03. Anyways...I absolutely loved his class and looked forward to listening to this man teach us history and talk to us about life in general. He said to quit smoking cigarettes and joked about drinking. He was a fun man and my one regret about transfering to sru was not staying there and choosing to do something involving history. wouldn't it be kool to get a job at a museum, discussing pieces and writing articles about them? ah, to become a major or minor in history. I would have really enjoyed going down that route, all because of his teaching.


timothy ray - english - writing I

Schmidt Liselotte - music...

Kara Orhan micro? macro? econ. 8am, C-


i've been slacking from the get go.

do not declaw your cat, use nail caps!

i convinced my mother not to declaw my tipsy.

we're getting nail covers/caps from softpaws.com

twenty-two dollars will get you a hopefully wonderful solution to the alternative of yanking out and breaking kitty bone just so you can avoid getting scratched...

now, i know my dad can't get scratched by the cat, no more injuries for him...so i hope this works well.

i'll let you know how this goes.

oh yeah, we got the yellow/green ones for him.

happy easter